I have
always shared my children’s birth stories within a few weeks of their birth. I wanted to share the story with the world,
share the beauty of new life, the wonder of childbirth and those intimate first
moments. Emilio’s birth was
different. Everything about it was
different. It felt so different, so
private and so intimate – this incredibly unique experience that I just didn’t
even know if I wanted to share it with anyone else besides my little family
because of the moving power that it holds for me personally.
Emilio is my
fourth baby, but our first homebirth and attended by a midwife. I can only describe his birth as amazingly
beautiful. I kept waiting for the time
when I felt I would want to share his story with the world, and now, on the eve
of his second birthday, I am ready.
So, here are
my memories of that night, when our baby finally decided to come. We had had several episodes of prodromal labor,
but on the evening of January 2, my contractions were so consistent and strong
that we called our midwives to our home, we filled up our birth pool and
thought our baby was coming….but that was not to be the day. We waited, and waited and waited some
more. You see, our three other sons all
came BEFORE their “guess date” and so as this little one’s date came and went,
we all wondered when baby would finally come!!!
It was not to be until nearly halfway into the first month of the new year, on the early
morning hours of January 12, 2015.
I had been
trying to relax and watch some TV, but the contractions kept coming that
evening. I was timing them, but just as
it had been 10 days prior, it felt like labor but I just wasn’t sure. I was going to wait. Wait until I knew. I still felt like maybe it was more of my
body warming up as the evening progressed until I went to take a shower to see
if things slowed down or sped up. I
found it was getting hard to move and I wasn’t able to talk through my
contractions quite as easily, but I was still determined to lay down and
rest. But rest was not coming so easily,
so at midnight I finally asked my pleading husband to call our midwives again –
and hope this was really it. Mind you,
my birth team was in Sanford, a good hour long drive from Melbourne. Well, within minutes of calling them, my
water broke where I stood, on the side of the bed between our bed and the birth
pool. I knew that this meant things were
going to start moving much faster at this point. And then cue Luca, our 3 ½ year old waking
up. Through my contractions I stayed as
calm for him (and for Paul) and just started giving instructions. We called Jill, one of my best friends that
lives close by to come sit with Luca and she arrived almost immediately. Paul called Rebecca, our midwife, back and let
her know what just happened. I knew we
may be catching a baby ourselves. I was calm and I felt safe. I wanted my midwives there, but I was at
peace. Paul put Rebecca and her
assistant midwife Rhonda on speakerphone and they began to talk us through what
our choices were – to call 911 and transfer to the hospital – or to stay on the
phone with them and be ready to possibly deliver this new baby without them. We stayed on the phone for a bit and they
gave some instructions to Paul which I couldn’t really listen to in the moment.
I breathed,
I focused, I knew that God’s hand was on us and that His will would be
done. I was staying home. We hung up and
I immediately told Paul to call a good friend and very experienced doula that
lives in the neighborhood next door. I
knew things were moving fast. There was
a very good chance that Rebecca and Rhonda would not make it. After my phone call to my doula friend Terri
went to voicemail, I texted her as well, that I needed her and quickly. Thankfully, she texted back that she was on
the way. We called Nicole our
photographer and she headed over as well.
Everyone was enroute to support us, but for the moment it was just us.
Jill,
Nicole, and Terri all arrived, but we were still waiting on our midwives. Terri was a rock – with so much experience
helping laboring moms, I knew she could help me stay focused on my breathing
and positions because I really wanted this little one to stay IN until
Rebecca/Rhonda arrived. I climbed into
the bed, on all fours, crouched holding my pillow to my chest as I willed baby
to make progress but visualized him staying right where he was until the right movement. It was incredibly difficult. I felt each wave come and could feel the
anxiety that I would feel the urge to push, but I kept willing it away, for
just a few more moments so that I could feel the relief and comfort of the birth
pool and of course of having my very experienced midwives there with us. Paul stood by me and kept me focused and
although I knew he was scared, I knew if I stayed centered we would be just
fine.
I heard the
dog bark. I knew they had arrived. I flew off the bed and they knew there was no
need for checking my progress. I asked
if I could get into the pool and they agreed. I continued on all fours
breathing and could feel baby’s head. Rhonda
was right there next to me, focused and she asked me to change my position a
bit, she needed to get in and help baby rotate a bit because despite my pushing
he was just not coming as quickly as they wanted. For a split second, I felt unsure, but the
adrenaline immediately overrode that feeling and I trusted Rhonda’s capabilities
implicitly. Baby’s shoulders were stuck,
he needed to be turned so that he could come.
With a few quick maneuvers, all while I was still in the pool, and just
two more long pushes baby was born. In
the water. At home. Into my arms, with Paul right behind me. From the moment Rebecca and Rhonda let
themselves in the front door, until my newest son, Emilio was in my arms, only
7 minutes had passed.
After
marveling that we had just had a fourth BOY, the placenta birthed easily and
Emilio stayed attached to the umbilical cord. Paul called the boys in to meet their
new brother – Luca and Sebastian were so excited and since it was 1:30 in the
morning, Matteo didn’t want to get up right away to meet him. So funny!
After the
birth, the next few hours were dreamlike for me. I felt so well. I had never felt so well following a delivery
before – there had always been a slight (or not so slight!) complication. But within the midwifery model of care, every
single concern and potential complication was addressed and proactively handled
before the birth. So all those issues
that had happened during my previous three hospital births were
non-issues. My little family was all
there with me and only Paul and I had held our new son for the first hour after
his birth. It was peaceful and quiet and
intimate. They were OUR moments to meet
this new little life that we had been entrusted with here on earth.
The team did
the newborn exam and Emilio was a shocking 10 pounds. Such a big baby! The kids watched and learned and heard why
they were checking everything they were checking out and we all marveled at his
huge/tiny fingers and toes. I was even
able to rest until the morning. The team
cleaned up the birth pool and the bedroom, did our laundry, and there was no
trace of all that had happened in our home just hours earlier. For those short hours, it was just the six of
us, in our home, in a bubble of new love.
I was exhausted, Emilio was snuggly, the three new older brothers were
too excited to go back to sleep, and I can only imagine that Paul started
pounding the coffee. As the morning
came, the house began to fill with loving grandparents and a few closest
friends to say hello to our new little guy.
Today he continues to fill our home with joy and we are so blessed and thankful
for Emilio.
Thank you to
my amazing husband Paul for being on this journey with me and being an
incredible husband and father, to our midwifery family at Tree of Life in
Sanford, Nicole Cangiano our photographer, Terry Myers our doula and our family
and friends that were on call as we all awaited our baby’s arrival!
Happy 2nd birthday, my sweet and precious boy! I love you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Below are
some of our favorite photos from both his unbirthday (the day we thought he was
on his way!) and his actual birth.
